Mass Mayhem and Minor Breakdowns (?)

Part 1: Perfection

It was the perfect script. Fun, happy, romantic, sappy, cute, fluffy... everything I wanted in my romance. All I needed were the perfect actors.

Part 2: Casting

I sat through casting already knowing who I wanted for my film. More importantly, though, I needed a male. Without a male, my film was not possible... was not do-able, was not anything. I would not do a lesbian love fest or a BFF snooze and lose fest. No, I wanted my male lead to be strong, but also like the boy next door.

Part 3: Casting Results

I read the list: Elizabeth and Sam. This should be funny to me, because Elizabeth was my lead in my first film, and Sam is the name of my other actress in my first film (but she isn't the same one).

It wasn't funny though. It filled me with dread. I wasn't worried about Sam or Elizabeth giving bad performances or anything.... I had no male actor. No one to fill the part. I immediately thought of the only male crew member that I had. Oh, wait... he would be out of town that day.

I had no way to get a male lead. None at all. Later some people would suggest I use some other guy on another crew... but this is my baby. No way would I let someone who has no experience in acting be my male lead who needs to be cute & funny, but dark & moody at the same time.

I was doomed.

Part 4: Screwed

When I found out I had no male actor, I gave my name and number to my actresses and ran. I ran back to the apartment and threw myself on my computer. I was probably the worst roommate at this time, but I was in despair. My script wouldn't work. It wasn't working. My vision of perfection and beauty and wonder and the thing I had worked on for many months wasn't do-able anymore. It was down the tubes with that idea, and time to think of another one.

My roomies came in to console me, but I wouldn't hear any of it. They gave me ideas, but this was my baby. My pride. My joy.

Eventually they all left to go visit another room. I stayed in the apartment, trying to think of ideas. None came.

I stared at blank pages for many hours. I emailed my teachers. No response.

I called my mom. All she could say was "It will work out." This was the worst thing to say to me at the time. I was still upset. I was crying, desperate for hope. But there was none. The project I had nursed for months was dead... at least at this camp. It won't ever happen now (at NYFA).

Part 5: New Surroundings

I gave up on working in the apartment and decided to go outside. It was a bit chilly, so I decided to go to the clubhouse. It didn't work.

Part 6: Giving Up

I gave up around 9:30. I decided to go find the rest of my roommates. They were all by the pool. A drunk(ish) guy was talking to them about film producing. It was weird. He left, and we sat there.

I got bored easily.

I went back up to the room and sat down. The roomies came back. I was aggravated. I still had no idea, and it was 10:30 pm. No idea that late is a bad thing.

I went into my room and sat there.

Part 7: Hope

I had a vision all night of a shot for a film... a close up on someone's eyes as they cried. What movie could give me that?

I decided on a story about a girl consoling another girl. And thus... the script "Pain" was born. It is a drama.

Synopsis: A girl is dealing with the death of a boyfriend, or a brother - some sort of close personal relation - and a friend tries to help her out, but it's gotten to be the point where nothing works.

So now I have a script... it's good, and I'm happy about it.

I'm sad I can't do my original idea, but I almost think this one will be better... at least, I hope it will.

The End.

And mom, if you dare say "I told you so" I will be so angry at you. =]